


303. bring back the sun

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [93]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:03:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8174273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: Here is all Sarah can say: the obvious. “You killed her.”“Accidentally,” Helena says, very promptly.“She was my sister,” Helena says, like she’s saying lines.Remember when you thought you tamed me, say her feverbright eyes.





	

****“I didn’t mean to,” Helena says helplessly. It’s convincing: the wide eyes, the trembling hands, the wilting posture: _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_. What doesn’t sell it is her eyes themselves – they’re wide, but they’re so bright. That old dead fanaticism, whitehot and terrible as the sun.

Sarah doesn’t say anything. Alison doesn’t say anything either. Here are the words you are looking for: dead silence.

“Sarah,” Helena says, and: “ _sestra_. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. Please.” She’s regurgitating the words like she’s trying very hard to believe in them, but her eyes are burning so bright it hurts. _Look at what I did. Look at what I did for you_.

Here is all Sarah can say: the obvious. “You killed her.”

“Accidentally,” Helena says, very promptly.

“She was my sister,” Helena says, like she’s saying lines.

 _Remember when you thought you tamed me_ , say her feverbright eyes.

“Get away from her,” Sarah says, and Helena stands up, which – wasn’t what Sarah wanted. Her hands are so red. They’ve stopped trembling; maybe it’s that she thought Sarah wouldn’t believe in trembling anymore. Alison doesn’t stand up. Alison keeps on not talking. Alison is just lying there, and Helena hasn’t moved. A puppet, and Sarah is holding the strings. She wishes she wasn’t.

“Helena,” she says, “I thought – I thought you were better now, yeah?” Paper words. Who is she trying to convince?

“I forgot,” Helena murmurs. It’s the most honest she’s sounded this whole time. “She said: kill him. She said: kill them. She talked and talked, the way Tomas talked, and I—” she hits the side of her head with the heel of her hand, once, thunk. “Forgot.”

“Alison wouldn’t,” Sarah says slowly. “Helena, you’re confused, Alison didn’t tell you to kill anybody.”

“She never told you,” Helena whispers. She laughs, once, a high little giggle. Then she stops. “Of course she wanted me to kill for her. That’s what I do. That’s why I was made, Sarah.” She’s staggering closer, step by horrible step, and then abruptly she falls to her knees. “But I was only supposed to do it for you.”

The words are sick and raw and open as a slit throat. They gape, they bleed, and Sarah stands there and looks at her sister’s bowed neck. _I thought we fixed you_ , she thinks, and wants to vomit from the urge to say those words out loud. Like Helena was a wind-up doll and she thought that if she just turned the key a few times and let – her – go—

“I’m sorry, Sarah,” Helena says. “She wasn’t the right death.”

“There is no right death, Helena,” Sarah whispers.

“There is,” Helena says. “I can find it. I can make it. For you, _sestra_.” Her eyes flick up, amused and sharp. She watches Sarah through the dark fringe of her eyelashes. Sarah doesn’t know what to believe: her memory or her ears or her eyes. One says _help her_ and one says _fix her_ and one says _shoot her and this time make it count_. Sarah reaches down and puts her hands on Helena’s shoulders and Helena sighs, rocks forward so her head hits Sarah’s knees. Her body droops. The pressure is almost enough to knock Sarah over.

Helena, Alison, and Sarah in a room. They all say nothing. None of them say anything at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


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